How do we reconcile a healthy physical self-image and a deep knowledge of one's inner beauty with the desire to change one's physical appearance? How much of our idea of beauty comes from the things we do to ourselves rather than just the very fact of our being? Is beauty a transcendental, and thus, can it be applied to everything that exists? Do we experience beauty this way or do we think of it as an unknown standard to which everything, including our outward facades, must comply? Why do women wear makeup?
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Beauty and Change
How do we reconcile a healthy physical self-image and a deep knowledge of one's inner beauty with the desire to change one's physical appearance? How much of our idea of beauty comes from the things we do to ourselves rather than just the very fact of our being? Is beauty a transcendental, and thus, can it be applied to everything that exists? Do we experience beauty this way or do we think of it as an unknown standard to which everything, including our outward facades, must comply? Why do women wear makeup?
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Pierre-Joseph Redouté
Check out this fab post on Tea at Trianon regarding Redouté. Now you know where all those pretty flower prints come from!
Monday, February 2, 2009
The Perfect Wedding
As the special day approaches on which a woman will marry the man she loves, her heart starts to fill to bursting--with a multitude of concerns about her dress, the bridesmaid dresses, the church, the reception hall, the food, the flowers, the invitations, the relatives, the baby's breath, the utensils, the amount of alcohol, the honeymoon, the money to be spent, etc. Her feminine mind, though used to multi-tasking, may quickly be overwhelmed with stress!
It may truthfully be said that an engagement ring is a good test of a man. He must sacrifice a substantial portion of his income for what may seem to him a small and insignificant thing, a little ring; yet he puts the care and thought into it that he must put into the daily sacrifices he will do for the bride he has won. The wedding, on the other hand, tests the woman. She must somehow manage this grand event, with people everywhere--hordes of people!--unsavory relatives, anxious parents, restive bridesmaids, unknown future relatives. She has to coordinate all the little touches that will serve her guests. As she will be to her new family, she is now, the servant of all. Nevertheless, in the midst of much serving, she can never lose sight that everything has come about because of love.
Without love, there would be no marriage, no engagement, no courtship, and indeed no beginning to one's life at all. Can anyone ever say she made love happen? Love comes from above, given freely, never orchestrated or concocted. The demands of love are simple: love always, in every single moment. Thus, amid the multiplicity of cares and tasks a lady must tackle in preparing the solemnity of her wedding, she looks to distill them into one simple act. She will love. She will love God, love her husband, love her family, and love all her wedding guests. In this love, no matter the details of the ceremony or the reception, the most beautiful wedding possible will emerge.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Materialistic Girls' Club
Why is it that guys seem to invent everything useful and cool? I don't mean this as a blanket statement--so no need to bring up Madame Curie--but if the battle of the sexes includes a technological arms race, our side is definitely losing it! The problem is that girls don't always get that sense of awe and wonder at what we are able to achieve and build if we just put our minds to it. We have the same rational abilities as men, and nowadays the benefits of education are equally conferred on us. There is the unharnessed, raw power of the Internet at our disposal if we need any sort of information. I can find a bridesmaid gown online for $19.99--but what have I built lately? What have I contributed to the storehouse of weapons we use to subdue the physical world? Sure, this isn't really important in the grand spiritual scheme of life. However, if everything we do is straw anyway, perhaps some of the straw we leave behind can be gadgets, whatsits, devices that can help with some practical need. Women are great at pinpointing practical needs: we should also be great at solving and resolving them. Let's think of what we can do to come up with something new and original, something that will aid us or others in the humdrum tasks of our lives, and free us up for more fun things, like chatting on the phone with each other or watching a girly movie!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The Impossible Man
This morning as I was driving to work, it struck me: I want an impossible man. I want a man bursting with confidence, the kind of man who really gets things done, a driven, decisive, executive sort; someone, I suppose, who would not only complement me but also exceed me in the things I already do and like to do. This might look something like Mr. Command Man from this list. My friends have told me that someone like this would be ideal, and until now I never questioned it.
I realized, however, the problem is that I also want a man who is sensitive to my needs, who truly cares and will put me first, and who enjoys listening and responding to me on a personal rather than objective level. So far, this is unsurprising--I am a woman, after all. What is surprising, though, is my revelation that the two qualities may not be reconcilable in one person. How can a man be primarily dominant and hard-hitting as well as gentle and loving? Which one do I really want?
In my morning muddle, I looked to real-life examples of men I have known and admired. My father, for instance, does not really go for the jugular, either in business or personal situations. Perhaps because of his height and confident demeanor, he seems like he would be one of your ruthless, executive types, but he's really a lamb in wolf's clothing. In college, I was most drawn not to the professors who would assault the students with the material as if it were a sledgehammer or a nasty surprise round the corner, but rather to the professors who really cared most about my learning and about me as a person. My first professor "crush" was not on the hotshot philosophy professor whom everyone found so dreamy, but instead on one of the more unassuming and humble teachers. Finally, in my work life, I've been blessed to have two bosses who really exhibit an effective servant leadership. The first one definitely was not a commanding personality type, and he was a real joy to work for, as his understated style gave me to focus on the positive rather than negative aspects of the task at hand; on the other hand, my current boss unwittingly fills others' lives with stress with his imperatives. I like him, and can deal with it, but at the same time it's nice to go home at the end of the day.
I skirt the dangers of making a false dichotomy. Nevertheless, it seems that if you are going to live with and be married to a man who is always out conquering the world, you must be prepared to make some sacrifices. This guy will not be home a lot. He will be too tired to remember to bring you flowers. Perhaps the real question to ask is whether I want someone who will make that big of an impact on visible realities. Do I want the man whom people will see as the obvious leader and shaper of things in the world? Or do I want the man who, while doing his best in the world of work and play, fundamentally realizes that the most important things he does are in the spiritual and personal realms? It is a rare man indeed who can embrace his vocation to be a man in every sense, not shirking, shrinking, or deferring unnecessarily; while at the same time realizing that this work he puts himself into so fully is but straw, even on the level of the work to be done in this life, compared to the work of loving and bringing souls to Love. It is difficult to imagine, but as the Angel Gabriel proclaimed to Our Lady, "No word shall be impossible with God" (Luke 1:37).
I realized, however, the problem is that I also want a man who is sensitive to my needs, who truly cares and will put me first, and who enjoys listening and responding to me on a personal rather than objective level. So far, this is unsurprising--I am a woman, after all. What is surprising, though, is my revelation that the two qualities may not be reconcilable in one person. How can a man be primarily dominant and hard-hitting as well as gentle and loving? Which one do I really want?
In my morning muddle, I looked to real-life examples of men I have known and admired. My father, for instance, does not really go for the jugular, either in business or personal situations. Perhaps because of his height and confident demeanor, he seems like he would be one of your ruthless, executive types, but he's really a lamb in wolf's clothing. In college, I was most drawn not to the professors who would assault the students with the material as if it were a sledgehammer or a nasty surprise round the corner, but rather to the professors who really cared most about my learning and about me as a person. My first professor "crush" was not on the hotshot philosophy professor whom everyone found so dreamy, but instead on one of the more unassuming and humble teachers. Finally, in my work life, I've been blessed to have two bosses who really exhibit an effective servant leadership. The first one definitely was not a commanding personality type, and he was a real joy to work for, as his understated style gave me to focus on the positive rather than negative aspects of the task at hand; on the other hand, my current boss unwittingly fills others' lives with stress with his imperatives. I like him, and can deal with it, but at the same time it's nice to go home at the end of the day.
I skirt the dangers of making a false dichotomy. Nevertheless, it seems that if you are going to live with and be married to a man who is always out conquering the world, you must be prepared to make some sacrifices. This guy will not be home a lot. He will be too tired to remember to bring you flowers. Perhaps the real question to ask is whether I want someone who will make that big of an impact on visible realities. Do I want the man whom people will see as the obvious leader and shaper of things in the world? Or do I want the man who, while doing his best in the world of work and play, fundamentally realizes that the most important things he does are in the spiritual and personal realms? It is a rare man indeed who can embrace his vocation to be a man in every sense, not shirking, shrinking, or deferring unnecessarily; while at the same time realizing that this work he puts himself into so fully is but straw, even on the level of the work to be done in this life, compared to the work of loving and bringing souls to Love. It is difficult to imagine, but as the Angel Gabriel proclaimed to Our Lady, "No word shall be impossible with God" (Luke 1:37).
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