Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Rules on Whom to Marry

I have finally found it, a gold nugget, another's wisdom distilled into relatively readable form: The Rules on Whom (Not) to Marry! (thanks to feminine-genius)

It could also be entitled, "Who Are Ready to Marry?" or even (if I had had the life experience to compose it) "Signs of the Lower Echelon." Some of you may remember my musings on what I termed "lower echelon guys"--and I hope, as you read it, you realized I did not mean any slight to guys in general. The problem with marrying, or seeking to marry, those who are not truly prepared for marriage is that, like in public school education, the focus tends to go towards the lowest common denominator.

I especially liked these "Rules," however, because though in list form they eminently are not a checklist. They don't tell you what you are looking for, because you should know that yourself. You should know yourself well enough to seek a partner who complements your strengths and abilities. The list serves to provide general guidelines, because as they point out in #18, "People in love are about the most gullible creatures on God's green earth." I liked the bit about sisters too--and that may even apply to extremely close girl friends who, if allowed to speak freely, will often voice similar insights and intuitions.

Finally, I liked the nod at normality (the introduction to the rules part reminded me a lot of my own alma mater as well). We should be normal--even if no one else is. Now, it is uncharitable to characterize others as abnormal to their faces, and to some extent to dwell on it interiorly is not always helpful. Nevertheless, finding a spouse is about reaching a norm, a place in your life that you can be comfortable in for years to come. That is why you cannot give yourself in marriage unless you have "achieved normalcy," in some sense. Be normal, and be well.